Motherhood & Me-Time: Making Self-Care a Must
Moms often wear many hats - chef, chauffeur,coach, tooth fairy, and so so many more that are being kept track of - even if they are temporarily misplaced! But the one hat that almost all seems to be unable to be found, is the “human” hat. It is so vital for parents to recognize that outside of their identity as mom or dad, you are human first who has very real basic human needs that must be tended to in order for you to be your best and healthiest versions of yourself.
What is self-care and why does it matter?
When most people think of “self-care”, what comes to mind is often experiences like getting your nails done, having a massage, or going for a long, leisurely stroll in your local park. While all those things do sound great, they can also be out of budget and unrealistic for new moms to get out of the house that long! Even though self-care can tend to have a theme of complexity and luxury, oftentimes the most impactful kinds of selfcare can be done in small pockets of free time with minimal supplies.
During the many seasons of motherhood, it's important to adjust how you refill your cup during a time where far too often you are putting yourself last. Before entering this season, self-care might have looked like a night out with your best friends or a day at the hair salon. While those things are great options, they may not be as accessible in this phase of your life. Most days of early parenthood, even finding 10 minutes of quiet time can be a rarity! Holding space for allowing what self-care looks like to change, is the beginning of taking your mental health back into your own hands. Without being able to do so, there is a very real risk of burnout and potentially developing other more severe mental health concerns. One love is here to remind you that you matter and your feelings are worthy of taking space.
Overview of Perinatal Mood Disorders
While you may be thinking that self-care is overrated and not worth prioritizing, it's important to acknowledge that 1 in 5 women experience depression or anxiety during the perinatal period. During World Maternal Mental Health Month (May), we acknowledge this vulnerable reality of many moms all over the globe.
Everyone’s journey is unique and it is crucial to find your own formula of care that supports nervous system regulation and grounding for a clear and healthy mind. By using daily coping and regulation techniques as a part of your self-care, you can continue to keep your cup full while also ensuring you are still able to pour out to your loved ones.
Daily Self-Care Menu
We get it - parenthood can be unpredictable and you never know when you’ll be able to sneak away for a pocket of peace. Sometimes all we have is three minutes for a quick reset, and that is okay! Keep this self-care menu within arms reach and when you find that pocket, pick an item from the menu and take it for yourself!
Hurry! Kiddos are momentarily distracted by colorful commercials - I have 3 minutes!:
Option: Mini Massage
Walk over to sink and gently wash face with cold water
Place pointer and middle fingers on each side of your temple and take a deep inhale while massaging slow circles.
Hold breath for count of 5, exhale, and repeat
Repeat until your time is up
Option: Let it Go
Take a deep inhale, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale for four seconds
Repeat, on the inhale, raise arms overhead and take an elongated stretch
On the exhale, release the arms and allow your body to fold over; grab each elbow and allow yourself to swing for a few breaths
Slowly come back up and repeat as needed
Okay, quick - they are playing with a random household item - I have 5-7 minutes!
Option: Moment For Self
Come to all fours in a comfortable place, using a towel or blanket for the knees if needed
Take an inhale/exhale and cycle through 2-4 breaths of cat/cow movement
Push the knees wide/big toes come to touch and sink the hips back to sit on heels and find a comforting child's pose
Breath and relax here until your time is up
Option: Self-Massage
Gather a carrier oil (coconut oil, olive oil, jojoba oil, etc) and an essential oil of your choosing
Find a comfortable seat.
Massage some of the carrier oil and a few drops of chosen essential oil into hands and generate mild heat
Bring hands to nose and take a deep inhale & exhale
Bring hands to back of neck and top of shoulders and begin to massage oil into the area, feeling the points that need more attention
Continue here until your time is up
Wait a minute - they might be asleep…. I have 10+ minutes
Option: Take a shower!
No, seriously, take a shower! Showers are incredibly emotionally regulating and you can use the various temperature options as a coping tool as well.
Option: Nervous system recharge
Allow yourself to find a comfortable seat or even lay completely flat on your back
You can opt for background/meditative music such as white noise, rain sounds, or one of your favorite artists
Cycle through a few deep breaths at your own pace. Envision a waterfall of warm, yellow light flowing down from above your head and allow that light to slowly begin to wash over you.
Take care to bring attention to even the smallest muscles and parts of your body, starting with the head, down to the forehead, brows, nose and so on and so forth. With each part of the body, continue to envision that warm light providing a soothing and calming sensation.
Continue on until you reach the bottoms of the feet in the visual meditation.
From here, you can envision yourself growing roots from your body and grounding down into the earth, allowing the earths electromagnetic field to send energy upwards into the body. Remain here until your time is up.
You got this! Remember, when you are feeling hesitant to take time for yourself, it is nearly impossible to pour from an empty cup and you are allowed to take up space!
Abou the author: Rae is a Full Spectrum Doula, Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC), and Perinatal Mental Health Specialist passionate about supporting families through every stage of the reproductive and postpartum journey. With a heart for advocacy, education, and compassionate care, Rae provides inclusive, evidence-based support that helps families feel informed, empowered, and deeply cared for.
Her approach is rooted in creating safe, judgment-free spaces where parents can navigate pregnancy, birth, postpartum, feeding, and mental wellness with confidence and support. Rae believes every family deserves care that honors their unique experience and meets them exactly where they are.
Wondering where to find a doula near you? Look no further! One Love provides comprehensive support for expectant and new parents in Tampa, St. Petersburg, Land O’ Lakes, Lakeland, Plant City, Downtown Tampa, and beyond.
Our services include Tampa doula support, day of doula, childbirth education, placenta encapsulation, in-home postpartum doula care, specialized lactation support by our CLC’s and IBCLC’s, and sleep training!
Plus, we offer virtual services to accommodate your needs. Let's embark on your amazing birth and postpartum journey together!
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